It Happened One Day
by S.A.Lovelace
Summary: One day it just became to much for Josie. All the despair led her to this ledge. Now looking down at the water below she is so close to having the peace she more desperately needs. She was sure of what she was going to do until this firefight climbed onto this ledge next to her, but Josie truly believes there is nothing she can say to change her mind. Miss you Gabby! ONE-SHOT


**Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago Fire or any of its characters. Just Josie!**

 **Chicago Fire One-Shot:**

 **It Happened One Day**

 **(Just a standard disclaimer of trigger warnings)**

The anxiety attacks had been happening through most of the morning. Waves of tears, shortness of breath, chest pains, and doubt. Doubt that these situations couldn't be fixed. Doubt that anything could get better. It cycles through. Round and round like the merry-go-round that keeps spinning. This is the first time in a couple months that I had felt like this. It seems to happen every couple of months and each time it's a little bit worse. More hopelessness and heartache.

But for some reason today's attacks were different.

I could tell from the way my mind during morning classes would wonder to the stress and the deep throb in my chest that would follow. I kept trying to tell myself that there was going to be a solution. That somehow it would all work out, but for every solution I gave a thought of doubt would enter and crush it.

The last clear memory I had was standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus, like I always do, to take me back to that house that no longer felt like my home. I must of at some point walked away from that corner. I must have had a reason for going in the direction of the bridge because now I am standing here looking over edge at the water below.

Even though I knew that water must have been near freezing, it looked welcoming. It flowed at a consistent pace and it kept on moving no matter what was in its path. It washed and lapped against the banks on either side. It knew the direction it wanted to go, and nothing could stop it. It seemed to bring a sense of peace over me. Something that I hadn't felt in a long time. I have felt calm and rest before, but peace had always avoided me. Now all I wanted to find that peace.

Like my choice to walk away from the bus stop, I mechanically set my backpack down on the hard cement and put my hands on the metal railing to look over. There was a ledge just wide enough for me to stand on, so I hoisted myself up and over the rail ledge. The height of the bridge didn't scare me. It was almost surreal. Like I was looking through someone else's eyes. I stood there for a moment and just gazed at everything in front of me, but not really seeing anything at the same time.

I guess the sight of a young woman standing on a bridge ledge caught the attention of some people walking or driving because suddenly there were voices all around me. There was yelling. This confused me for a moment. Why are people yelling? Was something wrong?

"Miss?" a woman's voice broke through the noise. "Miss, what are you doing?"

"It's okay. Everything is about to be all right again," another voice said. I wondered why this voice also echoed through head. Then I realized, it had been me who had responded to that woman.

From the corner of my eye I saw the woman who must have been trying to speak to me. "Sweetheart, please don't jump. Help is coming."

This seemed foreign to me. _Help is coming?_ What did she mean by "help"? No one helps. There is no help out there. People always say that there's help or where to get help, but no one really does help. There are too many people in the world for anyone to help another.

"No one helps me," I said quietly. It was something that I had always felt on the inside. I had said it in my mind many times, but never out loud. Out loud, it didn't sound scary anymore. It felt freeing. It was the thing I had needed to hear to take the next physical step. I can help myself.

The shocking sound of siren were suddenly heard in the distance. The piercing noise grew louder and louder until it was one top of me and then suddenly was cut off. I could feel the presence of more people behind me. There were more voices and footsteps. I didn't care though, they couldn't really be here for me.

"Hey?" a different female voice called out to me from behind.

I looked to the side and noticed the woman from a second ago was gone. In fact, all the people were gone. I turned my head a little more to see who had spoken and called back, "I'm fine."

Behind me was a Hispanic looking woman in a firefighter's turnout coat. There were several other firefighter's behind and on either side of her, but my focus was on her not the others. She was pretty in a not overly showy way and there was something non-threatening about her stance.

"I'm fine," I called again, not sure I had said it loud enough the first time.

The woman took another step closer. "I'm glad your fine. Why don't you climb back over so we can be sure you stay that way?"

"I can't do that," I replied as I turned my head to gaze back over the water.

"Why not?" she asked.

I could feel her take a step closer. In fact, I could feel a couple of the firefighters getting close. A tall, dark haired man was suddenly couple feet down the rail from me and another blond-haired man a couple of feet from him. My heart started to beat faster. They were going to try and take away my new-found peace.

"STOP!" I called out as I turned slightly on the ledge to look at the woman who had been speaking to me. "Stop! Back off or I will jump! I will! Back off!" My voice involuntarily shook. I don't know if it was from the cold or the fear being pulled off this ledge by force, but for some reason they scared me more than the drop into the river below.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," the woman put up her hands in front of her. "We're not going to touch you, but please can I at least talk to you?"

I met her dark eyes for a moment before jerking my head in a short, single nod.

The woman nodded to me in return and turned to talk to the man next to her. It was the blonde man I had seen before. Their conversation was quick before they were attaching a rope to her harness and securing it. Uninterested in what was happening, I turned back to the serenity in front of me. My heart longed for it. To be a part of it. Plus, it was something I was in control of.

"Hey," the woman called out again. I looked over to see she had come up to the rail a couple feet from me. "Is it okay if I climb over to you? I promise I won't touch you, but I would really like to talk to you."

I shrugged as a cold, early winter breeze passed over the bridge. It was cold. I knew that, but I didn't feel it. All I felt was my hair being blown around my face. Why couldn't I feel it?

The woman had climbed over the rail and was on the ledge with me. She was facing me though with one hand on the rail and a rope was attached to a harness around her. Seeing her a little closer I noticed her big, brown eyes. There was a kindness in them. Maybe I could listen to what she had to say.

"I'm Gabby," she said looking directly into my eyes. "What's your name?"

It was a simple question, yet it seemed to take me a second to think about it. "Josie."

She smiled, "That's pretty. Can I ask you why you're here on this ledge?"

"I… I ah," I stammered as the question sunk in. _Ledge? I'm on a ledge?_ "I just wanted it to stop."

"What did you want to stop?" Gabby asked taking another step closer.

That's when the tears flooded my eyes again. I blinked a couple of times and looked up to stop them like I always did. "This constant hollowness inside me. It won't go away. It's too much." The tears spilled over as a closed my eyes and hung my head. "I just want it to stop. I want it to be over."

"Josie, look at me," Gabby called out. "Can you look at my, please?"

Sucking in a hard breath, I picked up my head and looked over at her.

Gabby smiled slightly at me. "Keep talking to me honey. Why do you want it to be over?"

"It doesn't... feel worth it," my voice cracked. "Every time I make a move for the better in my life something happens. Something completely out of my control. I want to be happy. I want to be better. They keep telling me life isn't easy, but not that it's this damn hard!" My voice rose with each word of that last sentence until I was yelling, and my breath was coming out in short gasps.

"Who says that honey?" Gabby's speech stayed calm despite my outburst. It was nice. It was something I could hang on to, so I kept talking with her.

"Everyone," I responded.

Gabby nodded like she understood. "What about your family or friends? I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be on this ledge."

I huffed out a dry laugh at the thought. "My parents haven't been my parents for a long time. My siblings can barely take care of themselves and as for friends, I don't have any. They all didn't care for my drama as they called it. It's not worth it! I have no one!"

Without realizing it my foot took a half step forward. The space beneath me came it to full view. It would feel like flying. I would finally be able to fly.

"Whoa, Josie! Josie, stop!" Gabby's voice broke through my thoughts of flight. "Josie, please, just listen to me!" I glanced up at her slightly and she must have taken this as having my attention because she continued, "I promise you it is worth it. I know it may not seem like it now, but it is worth it."

My fist clenched at her statement. "You have to say that―"

"No," she interrupted me. "I promise you it's true. I have just met you and I can tell that you are a fighter."

I shook my head. I didn't want to hear her words anymore, but she continued.

"Want to know how I know that?" she paused for a moment. "Because in my time as a firefighter and paramedic, I've had to talk a few people off ledges just like this. Some I was able to save and other I was too late. Looking back though, I can see a difference between the people who jumped and those who choice to climb back over the rail. I know that you're not going to jump."

"How the hell would you know that?" I met her eyes once again. This time they were pleading. Gabby had also managed to take couple more steps closer to me and I hadn't noticed. She was now within arm's length of me and she kept up her speech.

"Because you would have jumped already," she stated simply. It wasn't harsh or mocking. It was somewhat comforting. "You don't want to jump honey. You just want to find some peace. You don't have to jump to find that."

"You don't know that," For the first time I could hear the brokenness in my voice. I wondered how long I had sounded like that.

Gabby held out her hand, that wasn't hanging out to the rail, out to me and said, "I do know that, and you will find it, but first you have to step back over the ledge for me."

This time when the tears burned at the corner of my eyes I could feel something being released. Here in front of me was someone who not only cared enough to try and talk me off a ledge, but she had gotten on the ledge with me. There was also something in her voice that was different from everyone else who had ever tried to talk me. There was a comfort in hearing her talk and a truth to her speech.

"Come on, Josie," she said. "Fight this."

"I can't!" I shook my head back and forth.

"Yes," she called back. "Yes, you can. Just take my hand."

I looked from her eyes to her hand and then back to her eyes. I thought about all the promises people had made me through the years. Promises to listen. Promises to be there and to help. Until something else came along. And it happened every time…

My voice found the will to firmly state, "No, stop trying to trick me."

Gabby shook her head and readjusted her grip on the rail. "I'm not trying to trick you—"

"Just stop! You can't promise anything because no one can keep promises. Everyone just leaves. I can't take it anymore." I took a breath and then added, "Please, just leave me."

It surprised me that I got no response from the firefighter. Her face seemed fall slightly at my last plea. She glanced back at the blond firefighter for a moment. That gave it away. I could tell by that glance that he was someone important to her. My chest ached from my own missing piece of having someone special in my life.

Thinking she was distracted I looked back over the water below me and I loosened my grip on the rail. I had no final thoughts.

"I promise," Gabby's voice broke through, but my gaze stayed forward. "I will be there for you."

"I've heard that before," I scoffed as my anger built. She clearly hadn't been listening to me. "How do I know you'll keep your promise?"

"You don't," her response caught me off guard. I looked at her and saw the pleading in her eyes. "No one can know anything for certain in life, but I will still promise you I'll be there. You say that no one is ever there for you? Well, I am here on the same ledge as you and no matter what you do, I have to follow you. If you choose to climb over, I climb over with you. If you choose to jump, I jump too because I couldn't just stand here and watch someone so lost just give up. I would have to jump to save you."

She spoke these words with such conviction and caring that tears started to form at the corner of my eyes and my breath seemed to get stuck in my throat. She was right. She had been the only one to follow me onto this ledge. Whatever decision I made would affect her as well and she didn't show any fear of what she might have to do for me. She was brave. I wanted to be brave too.

"I'm sorry," I cried as more tears escaped from my eyes and I had to shut them.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, honey." There was still some apprehension in her voice being unsure of what I was apologizing for.

I looked over at her and nodded my head. "I think I want to get off this ledge."

Her relieved smile was all I need to see to know that I was all right. Her hand reached out to me as I released one of my hands from the rail, surprised at how shaky it was, and turned towards her. Her grip of gentle by strong as she slipped a strap around my wrist to secure me to her.

"Thank you, Josie," she said to me as she seemed to let out a long breath.

I let out a few relieved sobs. I held tighter to her as my body seemed to start shaking. "I can't move."

"It's just the shock. Just hang on, we'll help you over."

A few of the other firefighters had started to come forward as Gabby fully let go of the rails to hold on to me. As she did this, I tried to see if I could move my feet away from the edge as I noticed just how high I was, but I miss judged.

My foot was closer to the edge then I thought, and I felt my sneaker slip. The sudden feeling of weightlessness over came me as ground disappeared from beneath me. Everything was a blur. The only sense that seemed to work was my hearing. Several people were calling out. There was a scream which was vibrating from my own throat. I felt Gabby's arms gripped tighter to mine and held on.

My feet dangled as frantically tried to hold my grip on Gabby as she tried to keep hold of my arms. I could see several firefighters leaning over the rail to anchor her. She luckily still had her harness connected to the bridge.

Luckily, Gabby's worried, but calming voice broke through. "I've got you. Just keep holding on."

Voices called down from above us.

"Dawson!"

"Severide hook up a harness and help pull her up!"

"Gabby, you okay?"

She kept eye contact with me and replied, "We're good."

The blond-haired man was leaning through the bars and had hold of her turnout coat. I noticed the tall, dark-haired man had climbed over the rail and was carefully crouching down next to us.

I was stuck between a state of trying to be still and my legs on instinct swinging to find something to hang on to. The only thing I had to hang on to though was the firefighter's arms and the eye contact she kept with me.

A new, deeper voice unexpectedly spoke, "Give me your arm."

I looked over to the dark-haired man as he addressed me as he leaned over towards me and held out his arm. Was he crazy? Let go of the only thing keeping from falling.

"I c-can't," I pleaded and shook my head.

"Yes, you can," Gabby's encouraged me. I could tell by the strain in her face that struggling to keep a firm grip. "We got you."

My body acted without thinking at her statement and frantically let go and grabbed for the man's hand. The movement panicked me more and I let out another desperate yell, but by that time I felt a firmer hold on my arm and then the strain on my arm while being lifted. Several hands were holding on to me as I once again felt my feet on the cement ledge again. By then my survival mode wanted nothing more then to get as far away from the bridge as possible.

I clung onto the rail as I felt several people pulling me over. One leg went over and then the other. My feet didn't stay planted for very long before I felt my leg buckle underneath me. I probably would have fallen backwards into the cement if it wasn't for all the people holding on to me. It was overwhelming as unfamiliar face swarmed around me. The world felt so surreal.

It wasn't until I heard Gabby's familiar voice again that I was once again grounded from my haze.

"Josie?" Gabby squatted down in front of me and placed her hands softly on my arms.

I kept my head down, embarrassed by my actions suddenly. What had I done? And in front of so many people too?

"Hey, honey, you doing alright?" she asked with concern.

I simply nodded my head expecting her to walk away from me.

"I'm so proud of you." Her words shocked me into looking up at her. She was smiling at me as she continued, "That was a very brave thing you did."

 _Brave? How was I anything but a coward?_ Was what I was going to say, but somehow it came out as, "I'm brave?"

Somehow her smile got bigger. "Of course, you got off that ledge alive, didn't you?"

Once again, a familiar stinging began in the corner of my eyes, but this time it wasn't because I was sad. I was relieved.

With a choking sob I managed to get out, "I-I did…" before breaking down, letting the tears freely flow down my face.

I felt Gabby lean forward and wrap her arms around me tightly. She let me just cry for minute while rubbing small circles into my back. It was the most comforting thing I had felt in a while since I was unable to remember the last time I was hugged.

We stayed this way while she spoke to me, "How about we get off this bridge and get you to the hospital to get check out?

The thought of being separated from her frightened me. "No, please—"

"It's alright," she said catching the fear in my voice. Pulling out of the embrace, she looked me in the eye. "We just need to make sure you're okay."

"You'll stay with me?"

Helping me up from the ground and wrapping an arm around me, she led me towards a waiting ambulance. "Of course, I promised you, didn't I?"

 **Hello my Loves! I hoped you all enjoyed my one shot here. It's actually a story I started a couple months back to help deal with some of my anxiety and depression. I had a low point at the end of last year and it was a real struggle for me to keep going and not give up. I one day was at my bus stop and thought about what would happen if I walked away and kept walking. I just wanted to find some peace. I promise though I didn't end up on a bridge ledge, but it was still a scary moment. I struggled to keep going and wondered if any of this was worth it.**

 **I was also around that time missing Gabby's character from Chicago Fire. I'll still be watching the show, but it won't ever by the same. From there this one-shot was born.**

 **To anyone out there listen… Depression and anxiety suck, there's no doubt about it, but also know that you need keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just keep going one step at a time. Don't look at how far you have to go in this journey, but only at that next tiny step and then the next. You keep doing that you'll one day find yourself were you need to be. Things do get better. I won't say they get easier, but they do get better.**

 **Please Let me know what you all think. I don't plan on doing anymore on the character of Josie, but if I see a lot of people like it I might do more.**

 **Until next time my Loves…**

 **P.S. Check out my Weebly page for more! Just search for:**

 **salovelace DOT weebly DOT com**


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